Original Poem: Love Letter to You (Written Valentine's Day 2011)

I told myself this wouldn't happen

I swore it wasn’t true

But it's been a year and I think it's time

That I come clean with you

I told my friends it was impossible

That it was all just a game

But now I get millions of goose bumps

When someone barely mentions your name

So now it's time to break my silence

Now it's time to finally say

Everything I should have already told you

On this miserable Valentines Day

Well, First I want to say sorry

That it took me all this time

To tell you what you mean to me;

To say what's on my mind

And second, I figured I'd tell you

I'm shaking even as I write

Because I don't usually do this

And I want to do this right.

I love the way you say my name

I love the way it sounds

I love the way it forms in your mouth

The way your tongue makes love to its vowels

I love how your mind works

I love to watch you think

The way your long eyelashes flutter down

When all you do is blink

I love the way it feels

Just to lay in your embrace

I love the way the world falls away

When I look at your beautiful face

I love the fact that you're fearless

That you inspire me to be me

That you make me strive to be my best

And you taught me how to be more free

But as I'm writing this poem

The clear blue skies of my mind go grey

Because regardless of all the things that I love,

I hate that you're so far away

"I guess I'll see you next lifetime" Erykah said

And that really couldn't be more true

Timing really is, well, everything

And this is why I'm saying this to you

So if I could go back

Undo the things I said

Unlike the way it felt

When we were intertwined in bed

Un-smile at all your faces

Un-laugh at all your jokes

Un-cry all the tears I spilled

When I realized all the sentiments that you invoke

I love you

and it hurts like hell

It's unbearable

There aren't enough words to tell

I probably should've said this a while ago

Or I probably should've stayed away

As deep in love with you as I am now

And the way it grows stronger every day

That would've been safer

That would've been smart

But my efforts are futile

Because you've already inside of my heart

Yes, I love you

This much I know is true

So I had to put it down on paper

In this long love letter to you.

Letter from the Editor: Poem Removed

I just figured that I'd let those who read this blog know that I recently removed a posting which featured the poem of a young woman.

Clearly she doesn't understand that it was posted with respect and admiration of her art, and because she does not appreciate that, i took it down and wiped it everywhere. It is not as if I took credit for it; Her name was listed right next to the title of the poem. Its style is simple and not one that I'd ever write myself, since I'm better than that; I just liked what it said about friendship. As a matter of fact, if you ever come across said poem about friendship somewhere online (because it's everywhere), kindly skip it all together, not even reading or sharing it, since that is what she seemingly wants.

I'm not saying this out of anger; I'm saying this out of disgust that fellow poets cannot share the greatness of each other amongst one another. So Ms. J, congrats. you got what you want. Now leave me alone.

Kiss it.

~A

Original Poetry: Relationships

Like
Cute Lovely
Exciting Amazing Exhilarating
Happiness Euphoria Disgust Anger
Betraying Mind-Fooling Hurting
Painful Loathsome
Abhorrence

Original Poem: Untitled

I wrote this poem on September 24th, 2009. The time context means a lot. I was going through some things. Things I was no doubt too young to experience firsthand.

10 little fingers.
10 little toes.
2 big brown eyes.
2 chubby cheeks.
1 little nose.
1 helpless life that unconsciously broke this little heart.

Billions of firsts.
Billions of smiles.
Billions of hugs and loads of love.
Only beget emptiness.
Emptiness that will never be filled.
Emptiness that I can't help.

My mind is made up.
But my heart is torn to pieces.
None of which belong to me.
I want to scream.
I want to cry.
I want to know why.
What have I done to deserve such complication?
Complication.

Pain.
Tears.
Tears that just wont stop.
And tears that just wont show.
Inside my heart is breaking.
Inside my will is broken.
I want to make it stop.
I want to get over it.
But I can't. I never will.
It will never be the same.

Who knew that all that could all start with
Those 10 little fingers.
Those 10 little toes.
Those 2 big brown eyes.
Those 2 chubby cheeks.
That 1 little nose.
And that 1 helpless life that unconsciously broke this little heart.
If there are 5 stages of grief, which one am I at?
If circumstances are changed forever, where does that leave me?
I'm afraid of the answer.

I Got Flowers Today: Poem about Domestic Violence

Please time how long (in seconds) it takes to read this poem.


I Got Flowers Today

I got flowers today.
It wasn't my birthday or any other special day.
We had our first argument last night,
And he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and didn't mean the things he said.
Because he sent me flowers today.


I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary any other special day.
Last night, he threw me into a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare.
I couldn't believe it was real.
I woke up this morning sore and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today,
and it wasn't Mother's Day or any other special day.
Last night, he beat me up again.
And it was much worse than all the other times.
If I leave him, what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry.
Because he sent me flowers today.

I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night, he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage and strength to leave him,
I would not have gotten flowers...today.

By Paulette Kelly

© Copyright 1992 Paulette Kelly
All Rights Reserved



How long did it take you to read the poem?

Please divide the number of seconds it took you to read the poem by 15, then round it up to the next whole number.

Your answer represents the number of women that were abused during the time it took you to read this poem—and—one did not survive.

Help us eradicate the heinous crime of Domestic Violence. Your actions could be the difference that makes the difference.

Please, do something.

Fantasize - Floetry

This has been on three-peat on my iPod today, and I figured that I'd look up a video performance. And i found this performance where Natalie, the floatrist just keeps...flowing, lol. She says lyrics that weren't even on the track. My LORD, they are talented beyond measure. Enough of me. Floetry. Enjoy :)

See Floetry's Live Performance here!!!

==========================

I fantasize about you
Said everything that I want to do
Said everything
Just everything baby
Said everything and I fantasize



I want to do dumb things
I'm talking strolling in the park things
stealing kisses strutted on park swings in the daylight while the ice cream van sings a little melody for us to move to
I'm talking some midnight dedications of rare grove tunes
and their all across London
we're using real names too cause were not fazed by who called who a fool
see I want to do everything with you babe

I fantasize about you
Said everything that I want to do
Said everything
Just everything baby
Said everything and I fantasize


Forget takeaway babe I'll cook you Chinese
Some fake kind of chicken and some muck kind of beef
Or we can eat with our favorite tune on repeat
We're only lit by those lights that illuminate the street
Now I wanna talk to you babe I just don't feel to speak
Feeling o so strong inside
Feeling so weak
And I want to um
I want to do everything with you


I fantasize about you
Said everything that I want to do
Said everything
Just everything baby
Said everything and I fantasize



Now we can run holding hands
See I know that we can do this
In a field of purple grass sprayed with green and white tulips under a sky washed orange under an everlasting sunset
You know what
I ain't done yet
See I wanna catch a ride off some crimson colored stallion

We can sail a boat made of water straight into the horizon
And we can catch a lift off a cloud where the silver linings really platinum
And you know what
I still ain't done yet
See I want to um

And I was thinking we could
And if you wouldn't mind
We could finish that with some
See

I fantasize about you
Said everything that I want to do
Said everything
Just everything baby
Said everything and I fantasize


Yo I want to go shopping with you
Me and you strolling down some high street looking for his and hers gloves just to protect ourselves from the winter
I want to be on the phone with you for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours
Talking about nothing
In every single way possible
See I'm not worried about your future babe
Cause after tonight I plan on being in your history forever
Were gonna rename stars
Rename animals
Colors
You know why
Cause this planet is ours

I fantasize about you
Said everything that I want to do
Said everything
Just everything baby
Said everything and I fantasize

~Floetry

50 Random Facts About Me

1.) My favorite color is green. It's funny, even my roommates didn't realize until i told her that it was. I honestly have no idea why it's green; I just love the color. I have a feeling that it's because when I was younger, the expectation was for girls to like colors like pink and yellow and I was quite the tomboy so I went for green. I'm actually wearing a green Gdub sweatshirt right now :)

2.) I can probably kick yours, your brothers', your cousins, anybody's butt at Street Fighters and Mortal Kombat. I play it with my brother and sometimes I pretend to not be paying attention so that he'd win. And then he would realize and tell me to try my hardest. Of course I beat him--usually with a "perfect" or "brutality" rating. When I say I'm good at the games, I'm REALLY good. I remember going to a party back in 8th grade and there was a room full of nerd-type guys who were playing Mortal Kombat and I challenged to play them. They let me play, all the while laughing and muttering that I was going to lose. WRONG--Not only did I beat all of them, but I always play using the girl characters, so it's like a double shot to their egos. I'm tellin you--Chun-Li, Jade, Sonja Blade, Sindel, Mileena, Kitana--I have mastered all of their moves and I'm always ready for a challenger, lol.

3.) Everybody knows that I am from the Caribbean (specifically, St. Vincent & the Grenadines) but not many people know that I've also lived in Memphis, Tennessee. 4 years of my life was spent down south and actually about 2 blocks away from the famous Graceland property. And yes, I had the WORST country twang imaginable.

4.) I don't think I have one best friend. If I had to pick one, it would probably be my Dad or my brother. I have a couple best friends, though, and they know who they are.

5.) I had my first kiss at age 17 1/2...a lot of people think it was earlier but it wasn’t. Also, I'm pretty sure he didn't know it was my first kiss. And I'll never tell him either.

6.) I am a computer geek. If there's anything that needs to be done with a computer (preferably on a Windows operating system), I can most likely figure it out. But I will warn you that if you ask for my help, I will indeed start speaking in pc tongue and you will be very confused. I was one of those kids who volunteered on the technology committee in grade school and high school and would help out the teachers with their issues as well as work on the bigger mainframe. It's ok though...I've learned to embrace it.

7.) I rarely cry. I tend to internalize things (to the dismay of many of my friends) and forget about them completely. But when it comes to my family and close friends being ill, in danger, or dead, I can be damn near inconsolable.

8.) Being Vincentian, I have a MEAN accent that rarely comes out. It's legit and authentic. It comes out either when I'm mad at somebody or a situation, or during/after I speak to my parents or fellow West Indian friends. I must admit though, some phrases and words will always come out in an accent; like "ridiculous" and "stupid" and if I say "I haven't the faintest idea..."

9.) Though I intend to go to law school and become a Supreme Court Justice or Juvenile advocate one day, I have a passion for modeling and music. I modeled as a kid for Talbot's and I've been singing since I could speak. My parents won’t let me seriously do either now because they don’t think that modeling or pursuing music are tangible.

10.) I play competitive softball. I’m a first-baseman and I know how to use my legs to stretch and get people out. I can also hit home runs like it’s nothing. The funny thing is, I used to SUCK at it. Practice makes perfect, I suppose…

11.) I can bend over and put my hands flat on the floor in front of or next to my feet without bending my knees. It’s something my favorite softball coach taught me to do. It’s a lot more difficult than it sounds.

12.) I play the piano and the trumpet and I was one of those kids that went on band/choir trips and thought that they were awesome. It is because they were.

13.) I can remember my best friend back in grade school’s phone number by heart and yet I can’t remember my NY house number if my life depended on it.

14.) I have never had a key to either of my houses. Maybe I’ll get one when I turn 21.

15.) I have 2 cars…one was my birthday present for when I turned 17 years old. It was more like my parents trying to encourage me to go and get my license (even though it was always a fight to get them to let me drive once I did). The second one was promised to me on that same day from my dad for when I got into my top choice of college, which was GW. I got in ED1 and after my dad finished freaking out (yes, freaking out) he called my brother’s godmother, who lives in Maryland and worked out where I was going to park it while I’m down here. That car has yet to make it down here.

**I wrote this like a year ago. I still have 2 cars, but my first one was switched with a Benz. I miss my first car, but I like the upgrade**

16.) I’m the 3rd generation of Israels go to university. This may not seem like a big deal for normal Americans, but in the Caribbean, this is pretty huge. I think my granddad went to UWI (University of the West Indies) and my dad went to Yale.

17.) The Presiding Bishop of the National Episcopal Church knows me by my first name. Her name’s Katherine.

18.) I’ve worn my high school class ring every day since the day of my graduation.

19.) I have a really short tongue. When I was little, the doctor kept having to cut it from the bottom of my mouth because I couldn’t lick or whatever properly. I’ve learned to deal with it.

20.) I was an extremely fat baby. I weighed almost 9lbs at birth and having West Indian parents, kept being fattened up until my doctor told my parents to put me on a diet.

21.) Fidel Castro is my great uncle by marriage. I tried to study abroad there in high school and my last name was blacklisted because my aunt Arianna ran away with my uncle, who was at the time the equivalent of homeland security director in St. Vincent.

22.) I used to be short. That was, until the summer between 8th grade and 9th grade. I grew about 4 inches. My doctor was like “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FEEDING HER?!?” to my parents. I'm 5'10" now. My brother is barely 4 feet tall and it worries me, cause he's 11 1/2 and I was 4'9" when I was his age.

23.) I have horrific asthma. I’ve been declared dead before because both of my lungs collapsed and I was only surviving because of a respirator. My doctor then informed my parents that they would have to decide between living in Memphis (with it’s high pollen) or having a daughter. Their answer is clear, lol. But because of the amount of times I was hospitalized as a kid (which was A LOT—I was in the hospital about twice a year), hospitals freak me out. One of my roommates was sick my freshman year, and when I went to go see her, I said hello, made sure she was being taken care of, and then went out into the lobby and started shaking uncontrollably. I though I was going to pass out.

24.) I can’t stand normal pencils and pens. I like having pretty pens and mechanical pencils because for some reason I can just function better with them.

25.) As much as I like to talk, I like listening much better.

26.) I never miss a USA softball game.

27.) I don't have straight teeth...they look straight but they aren't really. And the thing is, I def wore braces for a year but as soon as i got them off, my dumbass orthodontist realized that there was a bigger problem with my wisdom teeth and 12-year-old molars, so the braces were actually pointless. I had to have oral surgery but never went back to get braces out of clear defiance, lol.

28.) I bite my nails. Badly. It's not cute.

29.) I can put on mascara with my mouth closed.

30.) My hair turns red in the sun. No, like actually and amber-type color.

31.) I almost cut my hair to be a Kelis-like cut. I chickened out bigtime...

32.) I am really good with kids. My secret? BRIBE them with sweets.

33.) I'm allergic to coconut. As random as that sounds, I researched it and it's incredibly rare and there are single-digit numbers of us in the world. VERY odd.

34.) I look like my mom, but I have my dad's personality to a T.

35.) Whenever I go to McDonalds, I order not one, not two, but THREE double cheeseburgers, fries, and 2 pies. and I eat it all in one sitting.

36.) I took ballet. On my first day, the lady said that I lacked grace. Shortest ballet career ever.

37.) I watch a lot of Celebreality shows on VH1. Real talk--every episode, including reunions.

38.) I'm probably the least sexual person ever. Not to say I can't be sexy for the right guy. But my inexperience can make me awkward. The KY Brand commercials make me giggle awkwardly every time.

39.) I have the biggest girl crush on Angelina Jolie and honestly, if she were to wink at me suggestively, I would go running to her, lol.

40.) Nothing makes me happier than when those around me are happy.

41.) I watch some primetime shows while on the phone with my mom, cause we used to sit and watch them together before I went away to college.

42.) I am TERRIFIED of scary movies and I own the dvd for "IT" and have owned it for years, but I have yet to watch the entire thing...I always start it and stop it at the same point cause i'm too freaked out to continue.

43.) I am very picky when it comes to my cheesesteaks. I mean, I'm from Philly!!!!!! I'm allowed. Cause people are TRIPPIN here in DC with the whole 'steak & cheese' nonsense.

44.) I don't actually have a big butt. It's actually normal-sized. The women in my family have very arched backs so because of the dip, it looks like my butt is bigger than it actually is. Call it an optical illusion, lol.

45.) I am incapable of controlling my facial expressions...everything that is on my mind is VERY apparent on my face at any given moment.

46.) I have watched the Ray J tape...and the guy has some SKIIIILS forreal...and a kickstand, hehhehe

47.) My dream car is an M5 or a Miata...both of which are wayyy too small for me cause my legs are really long and I have to fold myself up in order to fit inside.

48.) I require very little sleep to function. Ask my roommates, lol.

49.) I almost tried out for Top Model, but my mom said no :(

50.) My dad named me. Apparently it was the name of a character on a popular soap opera from when he was about 13 years old. 'Angeliqué' was a BITCH and my dad loved the name so much and he thought it was terrible that they made her into such an evil character. His intention was to name his first daughter 'Angeliqué' in order to redeem the name from what the character made it. 'Angeliqué' means 'little angel' in French.